施拯菊的求助信

雋野在上世纪六十年代初在亚庇华侨日报和商报发表中学生习作．那是个青年文艺流行的时代，写作的青年很多，报纸的文艺副刊一片朝气．中学毕业后，雋野＂消失＂了．一直到２００３年，他在公职退休下来，才又发表了几篇微型小说．以后又＂失踪＂了．看来以后他再也写不出什么来了．这里选了几篇旧作，以饷老友．

尚恬夫人

我很彷徨、很无助、很烦恼、请您快快给我想个办法，解决我面对的难题。
我是个家庭主妇，育有四男一女，还要抚养丈夫和一个非法移民所生的两个男孩，而我的丈夫，牟世民，却自 1984年到现在，不再增加我的家用。我的家婆周贞芙，长住我们家，偶然才住到她女儿家去，但不久住，最多住一个月，又回来这里了。每次我吵着要丈夫增加家用，吵到大家脸红耳赤，吵到他不耐烦时，她总是站在她儿子那边，不支持我，生怕给儿子撵走似的。
夫人，我丈夫并不穷。他是个成功的商人，社会活跃分子，教育程度也不低。在80 年代，他和朋友上夜总会，给妈咪小姐的小费，是十元十元地给。我才是那个一路来到了菜市场，要五分一角地和小贩讨价还价的小家子气师奶。

1998 年，经济风暴后一年，我小叔牟居民的公司倒闭了，和他妻子及小孩也搬来同住。夫人，您别以为我家宽阔豪华。我们住的是早期的双层排屋，我们家里唯一豪华先进的，是我丈夫的书房。书房是违章加建的，设备先进，高科技，陈设舒适。其他地方都很颓败。两个“野”孩子，挤在一间不但是违章，而且是草草建成的木板小房。我的十六岁的女儿，还同他的两个小弟弟共用一房，很不方便。

我没职业；但我的工作量比大部分就业者更多。我要在家服侍十二个人！照顾他们的饮食起居，还要常常给他们埋怨。除了女儿，没有人会自动帮我做家务。我家婆早上起得很迟，起身后一面喝着我给她冲的黑咖啡，一面把我丈夫订的报纸从头看到尾。然后出去找她的朋友，一直到晚饭前才回来。我丈夫、小叔和小婶各自上班，到晚上才回来；有时回来吃晚饭，有时不回来吃，却从来不预先交待清楚。八个孩子都上学。他们放学回来，偶然做做家课，此外，不是争看电视，听无线电收音机，玩电脑游戏，就是到厨房搜东西吃，在客厅和后院玩游戏。经几个孩子一闹，家里比战场还乱。到了傍晚，当天下因为小人儿发泄了他们过剩的精力而暂告太平时，屋里屋外，是一片凌乱－杯、碟、玩具、杂志、报纸、脏衣服、鞋、袜、胶袋、果皮、饼屑、垃圾、满地皆是，乱不忍睹。家里老少，乱丢垃圾，把家当作垃圾堆。除了我那爱做义工的女儿，没有人帮我打扫屋子和洗衣服，没人剪院子里的草，没人修花，没人拔除野草，没人通沟渠，没人修灌木丛篱笆。每次向丈夫投诉，他总是反复一句话：为什么不聘个临时工人？
夫人，我去那儿找钱来聘临工呢？丈夫一个月给我1500元，小叔700元，而我家婆心血来潮时也给我一些钱，但什么时候她会给，给多少，大概连她自己也不知道。她一方面要靠我那长居小姑家的家翁，一方面和朋友搞点收入不固定的生意，我又怎能对她的支助有更高的期望呢？我怨她不该站在丈夫一边，支持他不增加家用。每次我软硬兼施，要我丈夫增加家用时，她就会拿出一笔补助金给我。我也不敢太过火，以免失去了她的一笔可观的补助金。
夫人，在1984年，1500元的家用，养五个人，绰绰有余。我还有储蓄，还有余钱为自己买些名牌衣著。现在，十九年后，人口增加了，物价也起了50％，用费的种类也增加了，而令我最难为的，是大家的期望也高了。我实在没办法以每月平均2500元左右，来维持这个十三口的家。我计算过了，要维持1984年的生活水平，每月开销平均会达到4000元。每次和丈夫理论，他总是不理，把预算给他看，他草草过目后，只在鸡蛋里找骨头，家用一样不加。夫人，为了家，我辛苦无所谓，但我得到什么？埋怨、中伤、责难。有的说菜多肉少啦；有的说碟子是塑胶的不卫生啦；把厕纸当脸巾用啦‘衣服是哥哥传下的啦、是大减价时买的过时货啦；屋子十年没重漆啦；水喉漏水啦；屋顶漏啦；院子野草太长啦；厕所的坐板裂了啦；满地垃圾啦；不一而足，听了烦死人啦。垃圾是谁丢的？为什么他们不改变乱丢垃圾的恶习？我小婶还背地里说我“打斧头”呢。我气得差点要找把斧头把她的头劈开来。我“打斧头”？我早在五年前，已把我从前积下的私房钱贴光了，现在我还得和几个朋友“做会”，赶到有急用时，可以标到一笔钱来应急。
去年，家翁送了一套塑胶灯饰，里面有棵小椰子树，我的小男孩好喜欢，我小叔却一弹再弹， 还说我一天到晚喊穷，却把钱花在不实际又丑陋的东西上。我不便多说，只悄悄地把实情告诉丈夫。 我何尝不知道家里较需要甚麽？我比谁都清楚！但我可以告诉家翁不要送给我们灯饰， 送给我们。。。。吗？我若这样做， 以后他会把东西送给小姑而不送给我们，免得碰软钉子。
前年，我表妹送了几盒烟花,孩子们都偷偷地玩得好开心，而我小叔至今还忘不了时不时提醒我那是在烧钞票；他没看见我那小侄儿那次玩得多快乐！难道他要我表妹折现送钱给我们？又不见得他表妹什么的送点甚麽给我们！
我小叔已够无知， 我小婶更无知。她爱到邻居谷静嫂家串门子，回来就爱大赞谷家怎样整洁、堂皇，院子像个小花园。。。接着就以鄙夷的眼光在屋内东张张，西望望，然后摇摇头，再加一上句“这里？哼！”。我说我小婶无知，因为她不知道谷静嫂每月的家用是4000元，不是2500元，更何况，她家只有九口，不是十三口；只有家翁家婆， 没有非法移民的私生子、也没有大伯子小叔子。。。而家翁家婆各月给1000元的家用。还有，古家大小都坚守“物归原处，不丢垃圾”的原则，哪像我那小婶，连换洗的内衣裤，也丢在睡房的地板上，等我这黄脸婆替她收拾。还有一点，我小婶是知道的：古家的院子，是雇承包商每月清理两次的。

几年前，我姐姐提议我做点小生意，由我家婆出本钱。开始，小生意还做得不错，每月多了500元左右的收入。后来我家婆要我和她的朋友合股，把生意扩大。我不懂生意，也没时间亲力亲为，而本钱又是家婆付的，我也就同意了。两年后，生意倒闭，血本无归。我虽然怀疑给欺骗，但也没敢向家婆抱怨，更不敢向丈夫说出我的疑点，免得他看死我妇道人家不懂得做生意！

我妹妹也来给我出主意。她说姐夫既然叫你聘请临时工，你就雇个小承包商来修剪你的篱笆，然后把发票交给他付钱吧。我觉得这点子不错。如果他肯付钱，则别的事，也可照办。于是抱着一线希望，找来了小陈，把篱笆修剪得整整齐齐，把院子里的野草拔了，草坪剪了，花木修剪了，添种了，气象焕然一新，大家看了也很开心，还以为我突然得了神助。但当我把发票交给丈夫时，他的脸马上拉长了，变黑了，一场大雷雨，马上降临。发票他还了，但他也在下个月的家用里扣除了那笔数目。我也不能再忍受了，就和他摊牌，以离婚要胁他。他说我们的宗教不允许我们离婚。我想过自杀，让丈夫另娶一个年轻妻子，这样也许他会增加家用，让我的孩子享有更丰富的生活。但我知道，这注是赌不过的。我怎能把孩子的命运，交到另一个女人手上？而且，我爱我的丈夫，我不愿死。

夫人，我丈夫一点也不穷、不蠢、不吝啬。他每四年换一次轿车，以节省维修费。他把孩子送去念独中。他的办公室，装饰优美豪华，设备先进，连秘书也是年轻貌美，能掌握高科技工具的。他唯一令我不满的，就是不增加家用。为什么呢？也许因为我是施拯菊，他是牟世民吧？

夫人，请给我想个办法吧！

施拯菊上

（隽野 二零零三年三月）

First day out of work

How did I feel first day after my retirement?
May be because I have taken three weeks of leave just prior to my retirement after over thirty two years of public service, my first day out of work passed more or less just like any other day in the previous month. I woke up as usual, between 5 and 6 am, meditated for an hour or so, went for one hour of brisk walk, then, as it was my “official” birthday, I have morning tea with a few old friends, who were thoughtful enough to bring a small birthday cake for the occasion. In the afternoon, I have a nap, then practiced singing “Bengawan Solo” for the presentation in the evening when DBKK gave me a farewell dinner which was attended by nearly 100 officers, advisors and staff and finished at midnight. In the farewell dinner, the Mayor and I each gave a speech. As I have given a formal speech during the last Management Committee Meeting on the 3/6/2002, summarizing what I have been telling the officers what they should do in the past 26 months and also a formal short speech during the handing over of duties on the 4/6/2002, thanking everyone and asking everyone to forgive me for any harm that I have caused them as well as urging them to give my successor the same support they have given me, so in the farewell dinner, my speech was very informal, mostly on personal things. I did not write any of these speeches. The idea is for words to come out from my month without weighing them. Let them come from my heart, so to speak. I received a pewter Chinese chess set from DBKK, and three books, one painting, a group photograph, three sculptures and a pewter plaque from the nine departments. It was very thoughtful of them and a present surprise to me. Well, I now think they love me more than I was willing to believe earlier. I took photographs with the presents the next day.
Many people asked me how I felt, expecting me to say either my shoulders are light now that I let go what I have been shouldering or I now have plenty of free time. I didn’t feel much that way. There could be two reasons for that. First, the three-week leave acted as a transition. Secondly, I have handed my duties to a successor whom I have recommended and I promised to advise and assist him for the betterment of the city. But to say I didn’t feel any relieve at all is also not true. After all, now some one else is carrying the heavy burden and I mainly have my own deadline, rather than other’s, to meet. There is definitely that sense of relieve, only it is not very strong.
I intend to shift from one routine to another. I want to have more time for physical exercise and then spend most of my time practicing and teaching Yoga, studying Indian, Chinese and Western Philosophy and do some research into “ alternate” education. My purpose of studying philosophy is to learn what were the answers of the great philosophers of the world in the past about certain big questions and to try to integrate the three major philosophies for the benefit of our future generations. And by “ alternate” education, I mean an educational approach that teach people to look at each and every situation as a totally new one, rather than treating it as similar to past occurrences and react to it habitually. The intention is not to replace the current approach but to treat them on equal terms.
There were only my wife and I in the house most of the time. But we don’t feel lonely. She has plenty of her reading to catch up and I have mine. The World Cup football has diverted some of her time while I still have unfinished commitments, official or otherwise, to gradually ‘ease’ out from. There are still meetings, dinners, functions, talks and seminars to attend in the next few weeks.
I fully realize I must keep myself fully occupied. I never have enough time to do all the things I wanted to do in the last forty over years and I now will become a full time “hobbyist”.

By Hiew 5/6/2002

Jiu Zhai Gou

Jiu(nine) Zhai(villages) Gou(valleys)(1, 1a), an eco-tourism belt in SiChuan, China, is famous for its water scenery. It is agreed by many a tourist that 黄山归来不看山，九寨归来不看水．Translated literally, it means “No more mountain views after seeing Huang Shan; no more water scenery after viewing Jiu Zhai Gou.” That’s how cool Jiu Zhai Gou is.

We visited Jiu Zhai Gou in 2004, according to our tour guide, “ in the awkward season” of late Spring. Snow had partially melted and water was at its low level, trees were just sprouting and twits were still bare and there were no colorful leaves to admire. But still, the views were awesome and unforgettable as you will witness from my photo album(2).

The most quoted summarized description of Jiu Zhai Gou is “水在树间流，树在水中长，花树开在水中央＂, meaning water flows amid trees, trees grow out of water and trees blossom in the middle of the water. Isn't it picturesque?

Another less quoted but very apt description of Jiu Zhai Gou is “碧水苍山雪峰奇，翠海彩林叠瀑飞，水光山色相辉映，九寨风光世间稀” “Wonderful are the green water and blue mountains and snowy peaks; green lakes and colorful forests are superimposed with fall water splashing; hills are reflected in the water with special sight effect; such are views of Jiu Zhai Gou rare indeed"
Seasoned travelers advised that the best time to visit Jiu Zhai Gou is around October the 10th, when multi-colored leaves are about to shed and water, the essence of Jiu Zhai Gou, is plentiful.

By Hiew

释驳络

在中国大陆以博客来中译　Ｂｌｏｇ　者居多．我为什么不随俗？是不是想哗众取寵，故作惊人状？

按, Blog 乃 Weblog　之缩写, 牛津大辞典　weblog　条说： A frequently updated web site consisting of personal observations, excerpts from other sources, etc., typically run by a single person, and usually with hyperlinks to other sites; an online journal or diary.　含有在线的公开日记的意思．日记本来是记来自己看的，不存心公开的，但是文人／名人写日记又常常存有有朝一日要自己或死后由他人把它公开的意愿．日记一存心公开，写起来就不怎么坦诚了．Blog　如果局限在日记的范畴内，就嫌有点碍手碍脚，不怎么施展得开来．我看过一些 blog, 多超越了一般日记的范畴，写来得心应手，好生痛快．我们年过花甲，仿效时人写 blog, 难免有跟潮流之嫌．但又自以为已使用邮电十几年，几乎天天上网，看来也还不算沾不到 blog 的边,　写写也无伤大雅．　写什么呢？篇头语说了：发表发表意见，与亲友分享心意与照片．子女都忙於工作或子女，但都因公几乎天天上网，也写blog , 故以 blog　来联系，虽非上策，也不失为中策了．

好了．既要分享，就必须联络；既发表意见，就得预备听不同意见，有异意了，就难免要辩论．所以，驳有二义，一曰驳接，二为辩驳．在我，驳接有两个较鲜明的意象，一为驳船，二为植物接枝；两者都含驳接义．辩驳义的意象，则有驳觜，最是活泼．

络就不必多释了． 它含联络义，也满足音译要求．就这么简单．

博有广义赌义．博太广了，太空了，抓不准，真实感不强．还是驳较有把握．就博他一把吧；谁知道，也许赌胜了，以后会有很多人跟着採用呢？
聊博一笑．

邱释

Three Gorges Dam

In late September 2007, the temperature in Chongqing (重庆) was still as high as 30 degree Celsius. As first time tourists in Chongqing, we have to struggle with the heat and humidity of the Sichuan (四川) Basin[1, 1a] while trying to enjoy ourselves amongst the famous local leisure seekers. The local people, many of whom are the Hakka (客家)[2, 2a], the Guest people, migrated from the Henan(河南)Province in batches of exodus in the past 2000 years or so, spend lots of their time in the shady parks, dancing, singing and playing games or sipping green tea while chitchatting. In a city of millions of residents, it is rare to see people who are not in a hurry; who have the admirable leisurely gait, delightful serenity, carefree style and calm composure of the villagers despite that they live in a big city and have to face stiff competition.

Sichuan is famous for its hot dishes. Yuan Yang Huo Guo(鸳鸯火锅)[3, 3a, 3b] is its representative and a must-try. It consists of a steam boat with two compartments, one filled with ordinary soup and the other with the red-colored hot chili and pepper soup into which diners dip their raw/cooked food to be cooked/warmed. The dish, of course, is delicious but hot, very hot. After a meal, most unaccustomed tongues will be numb and some of the diners might have stomach upset. But you have really not eaten Sichuan food if you have not tried the Yan Yang Huo Guo steamboat when you are in Sichuan.

From Chongqing we took a cruise down the Changjiang (长江)[4, 4a] to Yichang (宜昌), spending 3 nights on boat and alighting for sight-seeing along the way at small towns, including the famous Gui Men(夔门)[ 5a] and an old town Baidi Cheng[ 5ia]. Our main objective was to see the 2,309 meter long Da Ba(大坝), the Three Gorges Main Dam[6, 6a], which is the largest multipurpose dam ever undertaken by mankind till date. It is a controversial project the main benefits of which include flood mitigation, hydro-electric power generation and navigation and the down-sides include ecological disturbance, catastrophic consequence of dam failure for whatever cause, relocation of more than a million residents in the reservoir areas, submerging of cultural heritage sites. But to the Chinese Government, the benefits derived from flood mitigation and hydropower generation over shadowed all other things, including its US$25 billion formidable cost [7, 7a]. Without the Dam, the cost of damage to property by a 100 year recurrent flood is colossal, not to mention loss of human lives.
The designed maximum level of the reservoir is 185m AMSL and normal water level is 175m while the level now is controlled at 110m pending on more local residents to be relocated and reservoir bed to be prepared. The maximum reservoir capacity is 39.3 billion cubic meters, which was designed to cope with a 100 year recurrent flood volume of 22.1 billion cubic meters at water level of 175 m; electricity generation capacity 18.2 GW, navigational capacity is doubled. This is to say that the dam can hold back the amount of water enough to flood parts of the Hubei, Hunan, Jiangxi, Jingsu and Zhijiang Province downstream with a total population of 15 million and arable area of 150 square kilometers; produce as much electricity as 20 large nuclear power units[7i] of the day supplying about 4% of China’s total power requirement now and bring 20 thousand ton barges right up to Chongqing city at the confluence of the Changjiang and Jialingjiang.

The water in the Changjiang was turbid and looked like teh tarik [8] during our tour but the guide was quick to point out that the turbidity varies seasonally. In Xiao San Xia[9a], where the water is from undeveloped catchment, sure enough, it was crystal clear. The well known shallows and the rapids in the Three Gorges and the job of the Qianfu (haulers) [10a] are the things of historical and academic interest only now. The mountains, which make a gorge a gorge, along this stretch of Changjiang are awesome. Among them the Wunu Peak is the most famous and much written about. To describe them here is like reinventing the wheel with a crude product; I choose instead to show you photos and quotes you some famous poems [11, 11a].
The 5-stages dual-track ship locks [12, 12a] enable 10,000-toners to navigate pass the Dam, each stage raising/lowering the ships by some 20 meters vertically. The design principle is simple and the energy resource is flowing river water, but the technology to put the design in place is innovative and requires a break through. The design and construction of the main gates, each weighing 850 tons and the size of 2 basket ball courts, [13, 13a] stretch technology beyond the existing limits. For ships to be lowered, water level in the first upstream lock is drained down by 20 meters or so to match the water level of the adjoining lock so that the ships can move into it after the gate separating the 2 locks is open. By repeating the same process, the ships are lowered stage by stage until the water level in the downstream most lock matches downstream water level for the ships to leave the locks. For ships to navigate upstream a similar process is used, this time, water is let into the first downstream lock of the other set of locks to raise its level to match the level in the next lock. So simple and yet so technologically demanding in its construction.

The ship locks are for bigger ships which will take about 3 to 4 hours to go through the lock which is considered time consuming. Giant ship lifts [14, 14a] are being planed to carry an entire smaller ship of up to 3000 tons up and down in much shorter time intervals(45 minutes).

The cruise trip is an eye opener to a project which will bring tremendous benefits and yet not without its catastrophic threat and equally serious compromise, apart from providing sight seeing of the awesome views of the famous Changjiang Three Gorges after it was dammed up.

View some photos taken during this trip from my Facebook album


Submitted by Hiew